..if only (The Wave of Wish)

…”I don’t wanna lose you. I wish you to come back.” ..”I wish I could go back and change it.” …”If only the time had stopped,” ..”if only I didn’t say that.”

All I see is me standing in an ocean, floating with its waves, waves with a very familiar feeling. It’s nothing out there but a swelling storm and I’m caught up in the middle of it all. Drowning by the very waves of the storm, all I could do is wish for a stone to hold on. The more I wish the more I drown, the more I drown the more I wish. But then there was a wave splashing me right up to the storm and deep into the very ocean so hard that it knocks the wishes out and suddenly the wishes are replaced by a feeling. A feeling of letting go, a feeling that is heavy yet it feels so light. A feeling that is like gravity yet it doesn’t pull you down and suddenly I found the stone. A stone to hold on to but the stronger I grabbed it, the waves kept coming to hit it on my fingers. The stronger it hit on my fingers, the more scared I got of slipping it. Why can’t I hold on? It was slipping through when suddenly the feeling came back again. I felt my breath, I heard my heart when I realize this ocean is nothing but my life. It was when the stone slipped through my fingers I realized that the freedom of falling is the only way up. The waves got smaller, I floated up but now I knew it is time to let go off the stone and search for the feeling. I know I have to dive in and swim accross cause it’ll keep coming in waves for I am only human but I could never forget the stone for it is what awaits on the other side to teach me how to feel again.

– Ayush Mish aka Kai

+918586844348 , +918882030515



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